RUOK DAY 10th September :: I NEED HELP NOW
 





Australians have always been very supportive in a crisis – think back to how we responded to the Victorian bush fires and the Asian Tsunami. Even on personal front when someone breaks a leg, has heart bypass surgery, or begins cancer treatment, it seems very natural to reach out and lend a hand if possible.

Somehow it seems a little harder when there are no physical signs of illness, such as when a person loses a loved one, goes through divorce, is retrenched, goes bankrupt, or experiences a mental illness. Despite these illnesses not being physically visible they have the potential to be just as debilitating and in some cases, just as deadly.

Many people feel awkward broaching the subject and knowing what to say. There is often some nervousness about how to respond if the person becomes emotional.

Put yourself in their shoes

 
If you were the one struggling and had lost hope, would you want someone you cared about to ask RUOK? How would you like them to speak to you? How soon would you like them to initiate contact?
The Golden Rule is the main theme in all the world’s religions. Most non religious Australians, also want to help someone who is struggling. People who are struggling are often willing to discuss their situation – as long as the person asking is genuinely caring with their enquiry.
 
There are 3 important steps:
  1. Breaking the ice – Starting the conversation (preferably in private) in a non confrontational and caring manner with general chit chat – building trust through good eye contact and relaxed disposition – and then asking a question about some changes in behaviour that you have observed.
  2. Listening well - Guide the conversation with caring questions - the more they talk the better – a problem shared is a problem halved - don’t rush to solve problems - it is better to have a full understanding of the issues.
  3. Encouraging Action - summarize issues raised and ask what they think they should do? - encourage them to take one step to address issue- it is essential to follow up – nothing changes until someone moves.

    Download 'How to ask RUOK?' guide and a support guide
 

I'm not OK



It’s very common for someone who is feeling very stressed and/or depressed to feel that they are the only one going through this. Even though most people understand intellectually that 20% of people will experience depression and/or an anxiety disorder, somehow when you are at the bottom of the black hole you feel very alone.
You should know the following:
  1. You are not alone – a 2007 survey by Wesley mission showed that 85% of Australians knew someone close to them – either themselves or a loved one – who was living with depression and anxiety. Unfortunately there is still stigma associated with discussing this in the work place, but it is simply astonishing how many lives are affected by this. Medicare rebates for psychological counselling are up 54% for 2009 over 2008.
  2. Reach out – one of the hardest things to do is to ask for help – particularly for men. A problem shared is a problem halved and somehow just talking about your issues with someone you trust makes them seem smaller. It’s OK to say “I’m not OK” It’s OK to say “I’ve lost hope” It’s OK to say “I need help”
  3. Take action – nothing changes until someone moves – it is essential to seek professional help – make an appointment with your GP or a psychologist. Call a relevant help line (see brochure below). Take the anonymous depression self test at www.BlackDogInstitute.org.au

    I’m not OK support guide - download here